Summer closed a few days ago. Last week the weather required that we switch the thermostats to Heat for the first time since Spring. My dad and stepmom were in town along with my brother and his lovely lady. It was a nice taste of fall for them on Ember’s birthday week. This week we’re living up one last hurrah with blue days in the 70s. I love the fall. Had I to choose only one darling, that orange and leafy one would be my season. Here in New England though, our seasons are so symmetrical and pronounced, you find yourself loving them all when their turn comes up. I love Spring when the first daffodils peek out of the frost. I love summer on our very first warm beach day, smelling like zinc sunscreen and dewey skin, leaving sand in the clawfoot tub. Fall when the tops of the maples fly their fire colors and the shade grows chilly. And even winter when, in the merry chaos of the holiday season, we wake to our very first flakes. I must admit that by the beginning of March I am ready to be warm and things won’t turn that way for at least another month. A meager tradeoff. 

I’m typing this on the steps of our back deck, my trusty old Macbook on my knees. Ember is beside me, blowing bubbles from a long dip stick, the bottle nearing empty. The day is warm but the kind that doesn’t persist. I do so adore not sweating. Around my seat are some early leaves, red and wind-scattered and reminding us of the new season shrugging up to meet us in October. 

I’d say we had a full and wonderful summer in the time of COVID but that’s not quite it. Life has settled in and we don’t mind the isolation these days. COVID is no longer the asterisk behind all we’ve done, accomplished, enjoyed. It’s been refreshing. For my part I’ve learned to stop scrolling and listlessly clicking and just be. Read a real book in the slips of time I used to give to the scroll. I eventually stopped baking because I didn’t feel ready to buy new clothes. Plus, thrifting in the time of Covid? That was a no.

I also did PhD level research on food intolerance in my quest to understand how to feed a little girl who is reactive to almost every food. The Allergist/immunologist I took her to was infuriatingly unhelpful. He told me she needs more lotion, an “open diet” and daily, long term prednisone. That was a big No Thank You. He also told me that eczema has nothing to do with diet. That so, Doctor? I’ll show you her clear skin, feed her X food, and by bath time she’s red and itchy all over. I pull X food and she clears up. I can reproduce this reaction over and over. No? I’m mistaken you say? Well, you’re the doctor. Oh no thank you we won’t be returning for allergy shots and no I won’t be needing that prescription for prednisone. Ta ta, now. 

I’m happy to say that with a very limited and careful diet consisting of organic oat granola, fruits, carrots, some whole cereals, Trader Joes organic pop tarts, dates, maple, all forms of coconut, chicken, fish and Annie’s organic mac n cheese, we’ve mostly got her eczema under control. I’ll write more about that in a different post. I’m happy we’ve found a small path to tread in close and careful steps. 

I acknowledge that I have no school age children or zoom meetings needing my attention and so my experience with Covid is hardly universal. This is hard and unpleasant for so many of you and I’m sending you the biggest hugs. 

Even so, we both had to adjust to the loss of our small world. The gym. The Seacoast Science Center. The playground. The library. Ok yeah I really do miss the island library and its closure remains a consistent COVID bummer. Ms. Christine, the island librarian, makes house calls for requested books, and assembled themed summer reading bags for the kids to lessen the blow.

I leaned on the television a lot in the early days though and I’m ok with it. Daniel Tiger taught Ember to say and execute things like “let’s try again” when a tower of blocks or a slippery floor defeat her. I was a child too easily frustrated, throwing my blocks and yelling “forget it, I can’t do it” and so this is a skill I wanted for her.  Thanks to “Tiggy” and friends for the assist. As the days grew warmer we migrated away from the sunroom and into the actual sun, unfiltered by glass. We were at the beach almost every day over the summer, save for the days she proclaimed “Is too hot out here. I need a go inside the home, Mama.” You know, like 85. This chick is a northerner all the way to the middle.

We gardened with our lovely neighbor, we even had an adults night out while she womaned Ember’s dinner, bath time and bedtime. I was consumed by dread the weeks approaching but the night was fun and much needed and Ember did great with her best buddy. In the late parts of this summer and even now, they often carry a little basket outside and pick tomatoes “agether” as Ember puts it. I’d like to note my steadfast habit of adopting and reinforcing Ember’s particular way of saying certain things. I will not stop. It’s agether, twenteen, and I vuh vu. Forever and ever. 

Ember helped her Dada spread mulch, she and I planted a small garden in which we make a fun activity of weed pulling and mud pie digging. We did lots of sidewalk chalking. She discovered her adoration for the hose and all methods by which to “water the Mama, water the Ember.”  Mama never found herself wilting in the sun for want of hydration. I was thoroughly watered. 

I even made us a giant slip ‘n’ slide out of a long roll of plastic and some yard staples. Of course the baby shampoo we used to slick the runway gave Ember a rash and the rocky topography gave me some bruises but man oh man was that a fun day. 

The house feels more complete every week. Over the summer it was mostly finish work with our one contractor who we know isolates and only works for us (because practically speaking, we keep him busy and he has no need to take other jobs).

Small details like doors and trim and sloppy paint jobs corrected make a loud impact. Our overgrown front slope is being terraced, retained with a rock wall, and large granite steps will soon wind up the hill. We have a fully functioning gym with a set of Klipsch towers and a subwoofer that make me so happy I occasionally hug them. Ember “essersizes” with me and we usually get 30-90 minutes of HIIT 3-4 days a week. At first I mourned the gym. Now I can easily say I’ll likely never have another membership. I’m not beholden to attendance limits in the kids room, reservations, cancellation windows, or all the potential pathogens a two year old might carry home with her. And best/most unexpected of all, Ember can work out with me now. She can learn how good and important it is to move her body, to appreciate what it can do and where it can take her.

I’m also looking very forward to a holiday season not marred-to-ruin by that steady rotation of viruses we weathered last year. That was plain awful, ok? Just awful and if we get an entire year without sickness and misery I’d consider it well earned. 

Hand Foot and Mouth disease as an adult is not fun. 0/10 would not recommend. 

Well, that’s all for now. Next post will be all fall, all the time. I’m effervescent with anticipation over an orange season of pumpkins and warm spice on cozy nights. In fact, we are off to a wide open patch to pick some early pumpkins at the farm with our neighbor. 

Hope you all had the best summer, too. Isolated and strange though it might have been. In all seasons and weathers, we press on and make mud pies.